well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
