the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
two words...techno handjob
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
