5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
