Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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