I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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