HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
