Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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