that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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