non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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