I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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