is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
