have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
