they need to just BURY HIM!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
