Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
