They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
