He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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