Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
