lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
