Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just googled if crying burns calories
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
