you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize