My balls are so social today.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So squirting runs in the family.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
