i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if only i could text you this smell
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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