U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
