You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
