What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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