you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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