did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
