Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
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You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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