Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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