i just had sex bonerless
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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