toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
