So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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