dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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