butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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