ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize