ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
