We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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