I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
