Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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