If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
