My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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