Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
