So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
