I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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