I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
