I love black thongs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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