saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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