I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
