I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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