I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
