This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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