Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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