Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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