So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
