I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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