I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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