how can u be prego again
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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