I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
