My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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