Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
