hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This baby is an asshole
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
