I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
