We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
