Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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