I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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