my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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