fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
