I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
