The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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